Rubber Ducky?

Do you ever feel dead inside?

I do.

Maybe I just haven’t felt it yet but I just don’t get love. I mean I definitely need people and believe that all people need people and I’m a huge romantic. I love watching movies and shows and reading books with relationship stuff and I love my friends and family and maybe I love love people but I don’t know. I just don’t think I feel it.

When people die I don’t get upset. Maybe it has to do with my beliefs or that I haven’t had someone super duper close to me die but still. I guess I’m sad but I move on and then whatever, why dwell on it?

I know those were sort of random but anyway, I feel dead inside. I feel like I should understand myself and my emotions by now but I really don’t so… Oh well I guess.

I have to admit before I start my little rant that I tell tons of white lies. I try to avoid them, reword my reply to not be a total lie but still it’s really a lie but a white lie. You know, make someone feel better, avoid an awkward situation, etc. It doesn’t really hurt anyone but still.

Anyway, my problem with white lies is they blur the truth. If someone is always saying good things about you to you and you think they might be telling white lies you can’t tell when they actually mean it. I mean if someone always tells you that you look beautiful and then one time you dressed up specially or spent extra time on your hair or whatever and they same you look beautiful, you can’t tell if they mean it or not.

I like straight forward people, if something I do bugs someone I want to know so that I can fix it. How else am I supposed to know that something I do bothers someone?

Anyway, conclusion, people shouldn’t tell so many white lies, it degrades real compliments and the integrity of relationships and trusts and what not. Tell people when something they do bothers you because then they can fix that (or they won’t and they’re just not worth dealing with.)